It's been interesting

It's been interesting lately! I am enjoying the snowfall, finally the most significant I have seen in more than a year. We are supposed to get another 2 waves of it before the weekend. It's supposed to come through tomorrow on Thursday from California. I am glad to get some snow finally.

I put up my Christmas tree too. It's about 5 feet tall and I only put a few little ornaments on there. It has lots of small white lights however. The light at Christmas is so important to me, perhaps even more so this year than in previous years. I have also been trying to get into the Christmas Spirit by reading Schliermacher's dialogue on Christmas Eve. It's a wonderful creative work of theology. I have found I do not appreciate his attitude/assumptions about women however. One of the characters, a woman in the room, speaks up about what she thinks and another character chides her about what the Bible says about women (presumably about their authority to speak about religious matters). I also found him to be a little narrow-minded in saying that since women do not "possess the fruits of science within themselves," then they are more fervent and "unreservedly attached to the Church." I would say that it's possible that if women had been permitted to "possess the fruits of science," that is, to be permitted to study the sciences (remember this was written just around the Age of Enlightenment and while the Scientific Method was being developed, they weren't quite enlightened enough for women to be allowed to participate, except in rare situations), women just may have been able to find a way to possess both the fruits of their scientific studies, and be full participants in the life and theological development of the Church. Women have traditionally been socialized in this country as "peacemakers" and relational people who find ways to reconciliation among people, even if it means to be creatively searching for new ways to understand things. How could things have turned out differently if we had permitted women to have equal say in the philosophical development of scientific inquiry and theological inquiry? Would there have ever been a Scopes Trial? Could we have helped the world evolve emotionally a little faster and more peacefully? Would we have had so many wars in the name of YHWH, Allah, or any other holy name?

Schliermacher had a long-term infatuation with a woman in his younger days, as a student. I don't think he ever got over it. I find this fascinating about him because it reflected how emotionally attached he had become, perhaps as someone who was an utter romantic, born out of the age of Romance, grew up somewhat isolated from his own mother by being sent away to school, grew attached to the Pietistic religious movements of his region. I have split feelings about him because he both embraced the emotional aspects of religion and I believe that his attachments to women had much influence on this theology about religion as "feeling" and growth into greater awareness of Christ. However, he seems limited in seeing the full range of power in such "feeling." He became fiercely nationalistic later in life, which I believe was a sign that he was taking "feelings" in a direction that women would not have intended. This is not to say that women do not also have the propensity to let their feelings go out of control or to allow them to close their hearts to rational thought. We are all guilty of that.

I would argue, however, that the nationalism of Schliermacher takes religion as "feeling" in a direction for which our "feelings" about faith were not intended. I would also say that nationalism is not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself either, for I do adhere to the common principles of conscience and participation in one's own nation's interests. But what Schliermacher writes is a tiny bit over the edge. If you read his sermon on Nation, Church and State, preached 28 March 1813, you can see retrospectively how his theology grossly influence the rise of German nationalism over the succeeding decades. I think that whenever we allow our feelings to break up rather than seek reconciliation between people and nations, then perhaps we should review those feelings and reconsider whether they are adequately representing the consciousness of Christ that we first accepted. Schliermacher would say that when we become Christians, we accept an inner call to a journey that will continue for the rest of our lives, as we grow and grow into greater awareness of Christ in ourselves, or "God-Consciousness." If we forsake that awareness and simply take it for granted, we might lose our necessary link between our "religion as feeling" and our journey into greater "God-Consciousness." In other words, you can't have one without the other because they keep each other in check. This is why Schliermacher is such a contributor to modern theology, particularly Reformed theology. I see these two theological attributes as inseparable, yet at times linked like two train rails that run parallel.

Schliermacher says some wonderful things in his Christmas Eve dialogue however. Here they are:
On Christmas festival: "It is the distinctive nature of this festival that through it we should become conscious of an innermost ground out of which a new, untrammeled life emerges, and of its inexhaustible power, that in its very first germ we should already discern its finest maturity, even its highest perfection. However unconsciously it may reside in many people, our feeling of marvel can achieve resolution only in this concentrated vision of a new world, and in no other way. This vision may grip anyone, and he who brought it into being may thus be represented in a thousand images and in the most varied ways - as the rising, e'er returning sun, as the springtime of the spirit, asking of a better realm, as the most faithful emissary of the gods, as the prince of peace." (Schliermacher: Pioneer of Modern Theology, Fortress Press, 1991, p 198)

On being and becoming as an individual in a community: "In fact the union of being and becoming is found in humanity not incidentally but eternally; and this is because that union exists and comes into being as man in himself does...[which includes doing so in community as well]...which arises within a common life and activity with other men; for it is in comunity that that knowledge which is proper to our planet not only exists but develops. Only when a person sees humanity as a living community of individuals, cultivates humanity as a community, bears its spirit and consciousness in his life, and within that community both loses his isolated existence and finds it again in a new way - only then does that person have the higher life and peace of God within himself." (ibid, p 201)

Those are some great quotes to chew on. I'm almost tired of writing about Schliermacher now, but I think these are things to sleep on. See? He's an amazing and eloquent writer. He was visionary for his time, being around the turn of the 18th-19th century. He probably had an influence on Paul Tillich, who didn't come around the period of WWII. It would be very interesting to compare the theology of Schliermacher and theology of Tillich with respect to the theology of world religions. I have a book I would like to read by Tillich, called Christianity and the Encounter of World Religions.

Well, it's time to go. I have jobs to apply for, a sermon to write on 1 Corinthians 9:16-23 and some other miscellaneous paperwork. Yes, I am still looking for work and am thinking of how to fund my "life" until I do find work. I am asking myself whether to use more of my retirement funds, or even to withdraw funds from an annuity that I have never tapped before. I am wondering if this is what God wants me to do or not. I also would like to ask what my Grandpa would do, since much of this money was originally his and I just added to it some. Grandpa was a devout Catholic and is now in heaven with a whole different perspective on things. Through his own tenaciousness and frugality, he died a rich man and none of us were aware of it. I am not even sure if he was fully aware of the money he left. I have used some of this money as a means to graduate school. I am wondering now, as our country appears on the edge of some kind of mild depression, how this money should be used. I believe that I should be practical as much as possible in order to honor Grandpa's own pragmatism. He grew up through the Great Depression and he was one of the many honest, hard-working, men and women who learned the values of life the hard way. There is much wisdom in his saving up for so many years. And if I hear that wisdom, I understand that perhaps this is the right time to try and manage my finances so that I keep as much of them as possible invested in the future, as I also try to survive the present. I suppose if anyone reads this they are going to tell me to "pray on it." That's what I will do then.

Must go and take care of business. Bye for now.
Amy

Getting a clue

I wonder if I am finally getting a clue about my current state of unemployment. I am wondering what the whole point is in this exercise in endless job applications, since mid-August? Recently I told a friend at church that it's been hard and she said to me, "How long have you been unemployed?" I said, "About 3.5 months." And she said, "Oh, that's not too long." I felt a little shut down, because I have no idea whether she's considered that I haven't been in the real job market for about 5 years either, nor do I seem to qualify for much in the way of unemployment because I've only lived in this state for about 1 year. Still having trouble getting the NM Unemployment Registration form online to work so I can get some idea of what I qualify for!

So Bill Richardson will be our Commerce Secretary? That's interesting. I wonder who will take on his job? He really amazes me at the kind of crap he's had to deal with in this state. This is the most depressed state, out of all the states I've lived in. I am quite excited to see Obama's choices for cabinet secretaries. I am thrilled about his attitude and approach. I know that some have expressed concern over whether Richardson should have been Secretary of State, but I also think that Richardson might have more flexibility and versatility than Hillary and that Obama wanted both of them at that level of government, assisting him closely. I'm glad they've both been included.

As Obama said in his live announcement today about the Commerce Secretary position: "It's a good job." I think it's going to put Hispanic-Americans in the limelight every day because of the importance of our commerce right now, both our international and domestic commerce.

I have been busy scraping up funds that are lying around in various places (cyberly speaking), so I can keep on paying the bills. The biggest windfall recently was noticing that I had overpaid my cable bill for months so that they actually owe me a little over 700 dollars! So we have a reimbursement plan in motion. I am also expecting a check for 210 dollars because I overpaid for my ordination exams about a year ago, having registered for exams that I wasn't able to take. I'm impressed with my ability to research my financial records to be able to provide them with the proper proof. I guess I'm more organized than it seems.

I have been getting too much TV intake recently. I suppose it may be cheesy for some people, but I am actually getting really int 7th Heaven. I never thought I would be interested in that show but I certainly have been hooked now. The characters make me laugh and sometimes cry a little. I guess that's proof of a good drama or my own taste in TV.

I'm trying to think of new more productive ways to spend all of this free time being unemployed, besides taking online surveys and applying for jobs constantly. I have many ideas, but am not always motivated. I would like to do more puzzles, practice my German reading, do some extra Greek translation, prepare for my sermon in February for my exit interview with the Presbytery, watch more movies, play with my cats more... I think the first thing to do would be to clean up my apartment. I started yesterday when I had to go through a lot of old files - I have so many files from classes, billing, and other junk and I haven't figured out the best way to store them. I have similar, growing problem to the right of me, when I sit on my couch, with a number of knitting projects, all within arm's reach, with my choice of project to jump into. Let's see...I am making:

1 felted slippers for my boyfriend,
2 a hooded sweater with chunky yarn which is almost done,
3 mittens with boucle from a Lion Brand pattern (that are large enough for Frankenstein because I'm not following the pattern faithfully),
4 reusable shopping bag that expands when you stuff it (my second one in a month),
5 a "potato-chip" scarf,
6 a seed-stitch scarf that I might unravel and make into something else,
7 1 of 2 socks that I have been working on for about 8 months.

I that's all I have going on right now. I guess I have another sweater that has been waiting for me to find just the right color to go with it as edging around the sleeves and collar.

We've been getting a little bit of snow in the mountains lately which have made them spectacular to see. I haven't done it lately, but I used to stand in my parking lot and take a look at Sandia Crest and be filled with joy that I am lucky enough to live somewhere this beautiful and interesting. I shouldn't forget that feeling because it fuels my energy and reminds me of one of the reasons I am currently unemployed: because I have chosen to attempt to put down roots.

I have, fortunately, located a few possibilities to help me in the short term. What I need to do however, is take care of a little bit of personal business and I am going to leap right into those job possibilities. They are customer service jobs, answering telephones. Such jobs seem to have an endless need to hire because they have quite a turnover rate. So I have to make some quick decisions whether I really want to commit to their process because it is a "process." I have already looked at one and they wanted to hire me but they wouldn't be able to begin training me until January 12th! Hence the need to be on the ball and decided immediately whether to "go for it."

What else to report? Thanksgiving was wonderful. It snowed that night while we were celebrating at Mike and Lisa's. I had too much wine but it was just a great time. Before I had too much wine, I was honored to be asked to say a blessing and I made Jim cry. That always feels good, so long as the tears are good ones.

Well, it is time to go. I have to write up some "online interview" answers in my application to some jobs as a teacher in an online college. Wish me luck!
Love,
Amy

found my all time favorite Tom and Jerry!

http://www.google.com/ig/adde?moduleurl=youtube_igoogle/v2/youtube.xml&source=imag

cute little drawstring bag knitting pattern

Drawstring bag pattern

I designed this bag based on several different patterns, so that my boyfriend wouldn’t burn his toes on the hot water bottle in his bed. It measures 3” d x 6” w x 9.5” high. I use a “right twist” from the pattern, “Marsupial Tote” found in Stitch ‘n’ Bitch to mark the corners of it to give this bag its rectangular shape. This is a great way to use up left over yarn. It is knit from the bottom up, starting with a rectangular shape in Brown Sheep Bulky Limeade. The body is in Brown Sheep Bulky Kiwi. The “top” section is in a coordinating scrap yarn that I found which is from either Berrocco or Katia Mexico. You can figure it out from there though.

Used:
Brown Sheep company Bulky weight (85%Wool/15%Mohair) 1 skein (I used parts of two different skeins for contrast because that’s what I had left over, and some scraps for accents at the top)
16 inch circular needles US size 10 (6mm)
Large-eyed tapestry needle
Stitch markers (4, for each corner)

Base of bag
Cast on 11 stitches and K approximately 22 rows of garter stitch, or until flat piece measures 6.5 inches. Place a stitch marker to note the beginning of your round.
PU and K 22 stitches along nearest long edge to next corner. Place a stitch marker.
PU and K 11 stitches along short edge to next corner. Place a stitch marker.
PU and K22 stitches along second long edge. You should be back at the beginning of the round.

Body of Bag
You will begin to knit in the round now, proceeding always by knitting into the left needles. The pouch will grow from the bottom. Make sure if you set it down that you don’t accidentally knit it upside down. It will feel tight for the first few rows, but will loosen up after you knit about 1 inch up from the corners. You will do an RT just after and just before each stitch marker. An RT is:
K second stitch and don’t slip off needle but pull loop through. K first stitch and then slip both off left needle. The stitches will have reversed position. This stitch will occupy the two stitches just before and the two stitches just after every stitch marker.

Round 1: RT stitches 2 and 1, K to 2nd to last stitch at end of section, RT, slip stitch marker to right needle. Repeat 3 more times to end of round.
Repeat all of round 1 until you have a bag that measures about 8 inches high. The corners should be well-defined because of the RT stitches.

Top of Bag
At beginning of round, discontinue the RT stitch.
K 22, slip stitch marker, K11, slip stitch marker, K22, slip stitch marker, K11. Repeat another 10 times, or about 1-1/2 inches.

11th row is the Yarn Over (YO) row for the drawstring. A YO is as follows:

Move the yarn that is hanging down the back, up to the front, in between the needles, like you’re about to purl. Put right needle into stitch on left as if to knit, pull yarn in front up to right and around right needle like a knit stitch. Pull through left stitch as if a regular knit stitch. You will end up with an extra loop on your right needle as you pull your knit stitch through. Knit across it normally at the next round and you will create a small hole in fabric.

K8, K2tog, YO, YO, K2tog, K8 on the long sides
K2, K2tog, YO, YO, K2tog, K3 on the short sides

12th row: K all stitches normally across the YO stitches. They will look like a pair of small holes on each side of the bag. Continue to knit in the round so that you have about 1 inch beyond the holes. Bind off top of bag, removing stitch markers as you go.

Drawstring
Cast on 3 stitches onto same needles. Make I-Cord that is long enough that it can be fed through holes, alternating around bag, and come back out and tied on one side. It should be exactly the right thickness to pull through the holes.
Using tapestry needle, weave the ends into your bag so they are invisible.

Cute and fast! If you try it, let me know how it goes so I can correct it. I'm thinking of teaching it in my December or January classes at the Hobby Lobby.

Lundi!!!

I used to have a French teacher named Mr. Barney. My name was Cecile in that class because he allowed us to choose a French name for the school year. I loved the class because it was so empowering that I could speak a different language. Mr. Barney always started each class by reciting the names of the days and having us "repetez s'il vous plait..." He would get an impish grin on his face when he said, "Lundi!" and as he went all the way up to the end his voice would get less and less happy, because it meant that soon we would have the weekend, where there would be no French class. But we'd come back around to "Lundi" again and he was all happy again, because it was the start of a whole week of French class. What a great teacher he was. He had little relevant fashion sense and had an elfin face, but his enthusiasm about teaching us French will last me a lifetime - of looking forward to every Lundi.

I am lucky that I am a positive person overall. I maintain a conservative affect about my joy in general, but my attitude remains positive, hopeful. I still am unemployed. A major employer where I have been pooling many of my resumes has just announced that they are holding off on much of the hiring they usually do. I am disappointed in that, but I remain hopeful. I pray for change. I pray for help. Something will happen. Like many persons with Masters' Degrees, I feel torn between finding a job that is clearly my vocation, like church ministry or chaplaincy, and just finding any job that will at least pay the bills.

Sometimes I don't know which way to turn because I know I should be a chaplain. I have that hope and faith. But I also have no idea just how I am going to pay for my rent on December 1st. I have already taken much money out of retirement in order to live, but I can't keep doing that. Something has to change and I don't know how much I have to change in myself in order to fit into the world around me, and find a way to make money. I don't know what to do unless I hear something from the hospice organization, which I thought would be soon. It could be that I am expecting something too soon, or that they are now having trouble figuring out what to do in order to hire me. I hope and pray that this pans out. Please keep me in my prayers. It sounded like I was a shoe-in according to the way the interview went. I believe I have done everything that I should do. I was given a very positive reaction by the people in my interview. So what's the hold up? It could be that they want me full time but are presently afraid they have to offer me just part time. It could also be that they have had to readjust to other possible issues that have come up since my interview on Wednesday last week. It could also be that the president doesn't know that the interviewer said I would hear from them on Friday, just as the reverse happened in setting up the interview and I heard from them a day later than expected. Maybe they have decided to use this week as a "buffer" week to just make sure they say good bye to the former chaplain and her presence, which is also possible. They may need a little time to prepare information or a final salary offer, or they found someone they liked a lot more.

There are simply too many possible reasons for why I haven't heard from the hospice folks yet. It's a small company and the staff there tend to be "jack of all trades." I think that they are having some internal financial issues, although many of these people do, and I hope and pray that ultimately their patients, families and staff do not suffer because of it.

Sometimes, you just have to say, "Lundi!" and hope for the best!

The Day After

Hi. It's the day after the election. I am so glad I watched Obama's sudden and meteoric rise from just 103 votes to about 200-something, and then jump up further into the 300's. I was able to get to sleep at a reasonable hour this time. Thank God that the people spoke and that I actually agreed with many of them! Yesterday was also my dad's birthday so I wished him a happy birthday and that he would get what he voted for. Apparently he did.

My dad is interesting to me. We didn't get along very well for a long time. I think I had the wrong idea about him and he had the wrong idea about me. I have always had much respect for him, but lately he surprises me with his switch from a Republican to a Democratic stance. He even did canvassing in the middle of snowstorms in Ohio and Virginia. I suppose he contributed to turning over two "Republican-dominated" states into ones who would vote for Obama this time around. I'm relieved that New Mexico did too. Somehow I feel more in tune with my dad than I have in a long time. When I told him I always assumed he was Republican, he told me that he was really Independent. Just like me! Thank God for the process of maturation, and for honesty with those we love.

I had a great job interview today for a position as a hospice chaplain. It went really well, and then they told me that they hope to hire me full-time but right now it was undecided because they are so deep in debt. Apparently they and other hospices are having to give back all this money to Medicare because of budget changes at the federal level. I don't know much about this situation, but it sounds pretty crappy to me. I wonder about what exactly this business is all about, because I don't know how well the facts were explained to me, or if I understand it. I would like to know more about it. They have been waiting for 3 months before they can get a site visit in order to meet Medicare requirements for their home health side too. What a crummy situation, because they are certainly an important form of delivering care to people. I will find out on Friday sometime, most likely, about more of this, and what they are able to offer. I sounds to me like they have a full caseload and need to somehow have a 1/2-salary job as a chaplain. Maybe because they can pay me less for less experience than some chaplains, they can still pay me enough to survive. Chaplains tend to demand much more salary, especially once board certified and ordained, as I hope to be in the next year.

Well, I don't know what else to say. However, I hope that you have a great day. If anyone out there knows anything about this hospice-related issue I'm talking about, please let me know. I need to learn more.
Peace be with you.
Amy

Election Day.

I can't believe it's Election night. If you've ever read previous blogs you'd be able to guess who I voted for. I am happy so far by the news coming in. What's most important tonight is that I used my conscience. I used prayer. I voted early on October 31st. That was fun. The people working the polls were dressed in costumes. One woman was dressed as a nun, but I don't know if she was a real nun or if it was a costume, just because I have a number of nun friends (real nuns, real friends:).

We are in the midst of a historical event of huge proportions that no one can ignore. The rest of the world is interested in seeing how this nation votes. Now, since I have at least done my part, I can only hope that no matter what happens on this election night, God will help us to heal the wounds in this world. I hope and pray that this nation and the poorest of the poor may find a form of peace and prosperity that will last. We need to find a way to end this war and move our investments back into peaceful activity that supports the needs of our own citizens. The measure of a nation is equal to how it cares for the most vulnerable of its society. This is one of the reasons, but certainly not the only one, that other nations have trouble respecting us. There are other reasons, that's for sure.

What else is new? I have a job interview with a hospice organization for a chaplain position. I am so stoked. I need the experience and they seem like very nice people. I believe they already have 1 chaplain and are looking for 2 more - one full time and one part time. The odds are better than usual! I hope that I get the job. Another reason for me to be prayerful these days. Tomorrow I will make sure that the interview goes well. I have many questions to ask about how they operate, etc. Once I can get some face time with someone, then I usually can make a really good impression.

Well, I need to go, because I need to finish making calzones. Did you know that you can buy frozen bread dough in the grocery store and make it into various cool foods? We're having ricotta, pepperoni, pineapple, mozzarella calzones tonight, with some fresh basil and onion. Sounds good. I'm hungry. Bye for now.

Here's the results of an IQ test I took online. I don't know how accurate it is but it sure makes me feel pretty good. Peace be with you all. Amy

Wednesday

Hi there. Tonight Obama is doing his 30 minute infomercial. I am a supporter, although I have mixed feelings about this infomercial idea. I am getting somewhat uncomfortable with the extravagance of the whole thing, although I still prefer his views and leadership over McCain's. I am still going to vote Obama this election, but I fear that this extravagant 30 minute thing is going to annoy some people. Perhaps I am also anxious for him to not have to try to talk about it and prove himself to the world and for him to go ahead and start being our president.

But I already look at him as my president now, partly because of how much I have disapproved of the current administration. I am so hungry to have a president I respect, that I naturally see Obama as president already - does that make sense? I guess it would be similar to being cheated on by your husband, and, after finding out, but before the divorce went through, you start dating someone else. I don't plan on any of that, but I plan to vote for Obama. And frankly, leaders like this arise in our consciousness as our leaders and role models, even before the get officially appointed into the role as our leader. Obama is already a leader who calls not just FOR change, but for US to change as well. Any leader who can lead us all into a transformation of ourselves is really a leader of hearts. Again, Edwin Friedman comes to mind when he speaks of this motivating power in A Failure of Nerve, when he said that true leaders aren't really running in front of us but are also beside us with the furthest-seeing vision. While a true leader can see in the distance for us, they are connected to us and our emotional states in this present moment. I think Obama fits this description, almost eerily. That's probably why I am so fascinated with him.

I have so much going on lately - and ironically, I am still unemployed. I don't feel like enumerating everything right now, but I am excited about the opportunity to do a Bible Study on Dinah (Genesis 34). I am excited because the women in my group elected to talk about Dinah next week and the website we're using (http://www.womeninthebible.net/) doesn't feature a chapter on her. So I get to do the exegesis myself. I am fascinated with how much time is actually given to Dinah herself compared to the time spent on the negotiation of her marriage and the later violence her brothers bring upon her betrothed's city, killing all of the male sons in the city of Shechem. It's a story of deception and violent "judgment" upon Shechem and his people, done by Jacob's sons, the sons of Leah, brothers of Dinah. It starts with something that appears to be a rape and ends with the rape of a city, in way, because as the sons of Jacob destroy the young males of the city, they take away the city's strongest form of defense against invaders.

When Dinah is "raped" (my RSV says something like "seized...lay with...humbled her...") Shechem actually goes to her family and asks to marry her. This would have been the honorable thing to do in those times, according to Jewish custom, and the Bible also describes him as having a very strong desire to love her and marry her. But in going to his family, her brothers deceive him into thinking they can marry and that they may also set up other trading relationships. So with their deception they take advantage of Shechem (like turnabout) by entering their city walls and destroying their integrity as a settlement and as a clan-based people.

I am fascinated with the parallels there and that it started between two people - and how quickly it became between two clans of people. Of marked importance here is, again how much time is spent on the brothers and their anger - both while deceiving and then after destroying - compared to the little amount of time spent telling us anything about how Dinah really felt about this. Even her father Jacob has more to say than she. She is really present for only about 2 sentences out of the 31 verses dedicated to this story.

I am curious about her brothers because they do take up a lot of space in this story. They are clearly angry and have a blood-lust for vengeance. Jacob doesn't want that kind of relationship to the Canaanite people. Jacob seems to want to be on good terms with them, perhaps because he had just purchased some land nearby from them, earlier in chapter 33. He has also just made peace with his older brother Esau, of the Edomites. Perhaps these are signs that he is "mellowing out" in his fatherhood, looking for a piece of land to own. Since he is in the land of Shechem, naturally he would have wanted to have been at peace with the peoples there. As the word "Hebrews" actually means, he and his family were foreigners there. At least I think that's what the name meant. I can't remember now. I guess I'd better look that up.

I am curious about the arrangement that the brothers make with Shechem for them to be circumcised. It says that they required them to be circumcised in order for them to be able to do business together. I suppose that would make sense, according to Jewish law, although I wonder if they really thought of it as law at their time? I am curious as to why this story spends so much time talking about circumcision.

I have been taking many of these early Genesis stories about the family of Israel as ways to talk about their interrelationships as well as their relationships outside of their family to the other clans they meet. But this story appears to start with a little promise when we hear about Shechem's apparent love for Dinah and he wishes to marry her. It ends with a terrible and destructive event that only explains why the Canaanites would hate Israel. I wonder how the Jews reading the Torah during Jesus' time would have reacted to this story? What did it mean to them?

Well, I think I am going to go. I have some knitting to do. Peace be with you,
Amy

Ordination Exams, Check!

Praise God, Praise God! I am finally able to say that I have passed all my Ordination exams! Hurray! Miracles never cease!

I received a message from the local office where I took my exams, saying that I passed all three of them. However, strangely enough, I have yet to receive the official email that is directly addressed to me. If I don't get it tonight then I will email them tomorrow about that. It's possible that a mass email like this doesn't actually arrive immediately. I can't remember when the results arrived in my mailbox last time. I thought they came earlier in the afternoon, and that was when I lived in the central time zone. Oh well. We shall see. Maybe the office was supposed to forward the email to me that they got. I will find out soon.

I am so relieved - the last few weeks when I go to sleep at night or wake up and think about these tests I would have to pray to God for help. I would repeatedly tell myself that I had to lay all my anxieties on Him so I could go to sleep. I would repeatedly, silently, in the dark of my bed, ask Him to hear my prayer for a passing grade or to release me from this walk that I am on. I had this going on in my heart when I was preparing to preach the sermon on Moses' conversation with God over having to continue their walk through the wilderness to the Promised Land. He said, "Prove to me that we are under your favor and that you will be with us on this journey, or we aren't going another step." (that's paraphrased, of course - Exodus 33-ish) So, this walk I am on, a walk that we are all on in our own unique ways, in persevering our difficulties, calls us into closer relationship to Him, so that we are free to cry, beg, plead, rejoice, as if God is our very best friend, sojourner in the darkest and wildest times of life. I find it so often in my darkest and wildest journeys that while I am persevering to survive or succeed, I often must make time to talk to God about them, or I will forget His presence. The forgetting is just my own inattention to the greater, more important times in my life. We can so easily get so hooked into survival mode, that we might think we are all alone, when in fact, it's just like Jesus says to the man when walking on the beach - He carries us.

Well, more to come, I pray. Thanks for your prayers. - A

8.00 Dollars!

I got a check in the mail for $8. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but every bit counts. It was for taking some online surveys. I have another $40 coming, I believe, from several online survey sites. That stuff actually makes some money, but it seems like you have to belong to the right ones. Some of them are probably scams, like those that just want you to click on bunch of little advertisements. They are real ways for people to advertise, but I question their value to me. I want to be paid for being exposed to all these advertisements, but usually it seems like they require my credit card in return.

I also got a check for $159.20 for preaching two sermons this past weekend. I think the sermons went well. I traveled all the way to Socorro and Magdalena to preach in them because they are yoked parishes, which was an incredibly beautiful, yet remote drive. I wish I had taken my camera. The view driving back from Magdalena through to Socorro was my favorite part. Wow. The weather was perfect for driving too. I think I need to take some money out of retirement if I am going to make it into the next month. I think I will also get $40 tomorrow for taking a four-hour computer class at UNM. Of course, I think that will be taxed as income.

I am a knitting instructor now at Hobby Lobby, as I said in my last blog. This is the first week my advertisement and sign up sheet is out at the store but no one is signed up for this week's class. I'm okay with that. I think I am going to post advertisements on some public bulletin boards around town so work gets out, in addition to simply offering some private lessons at 10/hr. The classes are 5/hr. I think that's reasonable, because the classes are usually 2-3 hours long.

It looks pretty good, even though the pixels aren't very good in this blog. They look nice printed out full size on a piece of photo paper. Now I need to put some of those posters out on bulletin boards with those little tabs on them with my phone number.

This past week I helped my boyfriend get some of the last little bits of things installed in his new studio. He has been working on an addition to his house where he can start a professional recording business. I am so inspired by his accomplishments so far and it also inspires me that he already has his own small business of installing sound equipment. The plan is he is going to "Christen" the studio on Thursday night by having some of the old band back together and they'll play in the studio room. The recording equipment isn't in there yet because the building will need one more inspection first, but he actually has walls now, and paint on them. Carpet is going in very soon. I'm proud of him. I plan on being up there at his house on Thursday night to share in the festive nature of the event. One of his best friends is an incredible guitar player and he has no idea how close the studio is to being finished. So I need to be there to see his face - maybe bake some cookies for the occasion for it too!

Well, I think I'll go and work on my resume and flyers to advertise. I'm expecting a call soon too from a hospice organization.

Peace,

Amy

It's a new day

Today I have been spending more time on preparing my sermon. Yesterday I wanted to do more on it but I had several errands to run, two of which took a way longer time than expected. But they went okay! I am applying to a local employment agency who is helping me get a license to teach in local public schools as a substitute teacher! That's going to be so cool, though tiring I am sure. It takes like 2 months to get the whole process done, which includes a background check, reference check and fingerprinting. Surprisingly, they don't do a drug test, which I think would be appropriate to do to teachers. I am also starting to teach evening knitting classes each week at the local Hobby Lobby. The first project will be a beginning class on making an interesting scarf that looks like a bunch of diamonds stacked on top of them. My next class will be a potholders/coasters class to teach casting on/binding off and to learn a couple of interesting combinations of purl-knit stitch patterns (like rib, chevron, etc.). Other projects will be mittens (shaping class with straight needles), a hat (knitting in the round), and perhaps an entrelac purse class for advanced students (this would require knowing how to pick up stitches, increase/decrease, purl, knit). I also just found a simple-looking knitting pattern for a reusable grocery bag, which I hope to learn. This might be a nice project for the eco-minded. So there's a lot I can teach and hopefully I will have some takers. For a 15 dollar fee for 3 hours of instruction, I think it's pretty reasonable. If you live in Albuquerque, and have always wanted to know how to knit, go here: http://www.hobbylobby.com/stores/stores.cfm?page=3.2&menu=1&storeno=067 The class will be in evenings so you can go after work!



Let's see... I am also sewing a leopard tail for Halloween. I bought 1/4 yard of fake fur at Hobby Lobby yesterday, cut it lengthwise and folded it over in the shape of a tail. As soon as I finish stitching up the sides with black thread, I'll turn it back outside-in and will stuff it just a little bit with some "fake snow" I used at Christmas party last year (it's just cotton batting, but touted as "snow" at JoAnn's:). I haven't decided how to attach it however. My boyfriend is pretty excited about the idea. I have had a pair of fake leopard ears on a headband for several years now. If I can rememberwhere they are, I could wear those too! Happy Halloween!



Halloween is also the same day as Reformation Day. That was in 1517 when Martin Luther nailed the 95 theses on the door of Wittenberg

first snow!

I am so glad to report that we have had our first snow here - not in Albuquerque, but up in the East Mountains. I led our 4th Women's Bible Study last night and after that, drove over to my boyfriend's house and as he and I stood there looking out the window, it started to snow! It didn't accumulate unfortunately but it was definitely something that gets me in the mood for winter!

In the meantime, I have continued to search for jobs, watch a fair bit of daytime TV, knit stuff, and conduct my Bible studies. I have also been with the kitties a lot more than usual because I have been out of work for so long. Misty has become particularly michievous lately, having actually found her way onto the kitchen counter and into the top shelf of dishes! Oh my gosh. That might explain why I found small chips of my Pfalzgraff plates on the shelf inside. I found these little chips of plates inside the shelf and was completely confused earlier this week. She has also found a convenient way to roost on top of the refrigerator now. The other day when making cookies I turned around and found myself eye to eye, a little bit startled by her. She was just lazing over the corner of the fridge, her flippy-floppy tail doing its little dance. I think she likes to keep me on my toes.

So this shed is getting furrier. Don't worry, if you ever came to my house for dinner, I will wash all the dishes right before using them. I promise. I'm a bit overly-careful to prevent cat-hair-ingestion.

My sermon is this Sunday. I am preaching from Exodus 33, in which Moses intercedes for the Israelites to God after they refuse to continue on their journey to the Promised Land. Moses really stands up for them with demands for reassurance that God will continue to have favor for them and that he will go with them on this journey. But his demands are center stage, sharing center stage also the promises that God does give him, in kind of an elliptical form. God's response to Moses is one in wich He "draws the line" somewhere along the lines of, "yes, I will always be with you," but "no, you cannot know me thoroughly..." The story wraps up with God placing Moses into the cleft of rock, a little sheltered spot, and God then moves forward ahead of Moses in such a way that Moses is shielded from God's face. This is almost as if to say, "this is how I shall do it, going ahead of you."

I have been thinking my focus will be the fact we don't know everything there is to know about God and that this is okay, if we can be reassured of God's permanant presence in our lives, and God's faithfulness to His covenant with us. That's about all I have now. Tomorrow I hope to get back to it early in the day. Peace out. Amy

Today's a good day

Happy Friday! So glad it's Friday. Hopeful-ish things have happened today. I applied for a new job I saw open up with a hospice looking for a bereavement counselor!!! Wooo hooo! I did't get the job, but it was heartening for me to get a really great lead like that. It forced me to sign up with yet another career/job search website however. I am now with CareerBuilder.com, Job.com, Jobing.com, Monster.com and a myriad of many other smaller, lesser-known folks, many sites related to either healthcare or teaching. I am even on Policelink.com, because there is something in me that says I might actually get some good work using my training in Critical Incident Stress Management, which is an immediate, post-trauma, debriefing type of caregiving to people designed to prevent traumatized persons from experiencing PTSD. Kind of like grief, trauma is a natural reaction to an extraordinary experience and is a subjective response, but when they become disorders, that's when one's health is compromised. I would LOVE to be a bereavement - whatever person with that hospice company. It would be the break of a lifetime, to begin paid, professional experience, whether on contract, temporary or permanent hire.

I also got a contact from UNM - a university department nonetheless - who said they would be considering my application working there. It took about 4 weeks for the resume to get that far, from the date I applied! So it will be a while longer, apparently. But just getting that letter was a relief because it proved that someone is actually reading my resumes.

I am now signed up with their temp agency (UNM Temps) and have been thoroughly impressed with the personalities I have met, a feeling of hospitality from them, etc. This appears to be a great organization to be a part of, so we shall see how much work they are able to provide me. They are actually paying me to take a training course on THEIR mainframe accounting software. If you want to know more about them, let me know with a comment.

I am also proud to say I saved 10 bucks at the grocery today with my Smiths Rewards card. It was my first use of the card, and I got so much back because I bought so much stuff on sale. I have been shoring up resources in this way - I bought a lot of frozen and canned stuff. It's weird because I haven't been eating much and skipping some meals. This is terrible, but I should go ahead and name it. I believe it is another way for me to "shore up resources," but I know it is not particularly healthy. The only good thing about it is my fridge is cleaner than it's been in months, and it's giving me a different view of another side of life I haven't experienced in many years. I remember when I first moved from Virginia to Dallas I only made 800 bucks a month! My rent was 300 in a creepy neighborhood, living in an efficiency with Texas cockroaches, ground floor level, all bills paid. It was one of those parts of towns where a lot of people just walked around during the day when others were at work. It was, according to my parents and friends, and a gut feeling, a dangerous neighborhood for a single white girl of 23 years old. I used to eat spaghetti and bread just about every night and I brought my lunch to work every day. Now I'm 37 and I wonder where I got the nerve, the business sense and perseverence at such a young age? If I could do it then, maybe I can do it now, although my rent is much higher and I have a much greater appreciation for quality wine.

Just like they're saying about the economy on TV, we're strong, we're survivors, we're fighters, the world isn't going to just end if the bottom falls out.

On another note, I am working on a flyer and sign up sheet so I can teach some knitting classes at a nearby Hobby Lobby in Albuquerque. The classes aren't posted yet online, but I have to turn this stuff in by October 22nd in order for it to be published for the November calendar there. I'm pretty excited about the opportunity. I love teaching it! I am going to teach a scarf pattern that allows you to avoid having to learn casting on and binding off right away. It's a scarf that starts and ends on one stitch. My reason for choosing this pattern is so that students can go home and finish the scarf by just pulling the thread through the last loop to finish. I will have to teach them how to increase and decrease however. The Increase 1 is the first stitch they will learn and the most "challenging" for a beginner, and if they can do that, they can do everything else with a lot less grief.

I found an interesting website that might help with scholarship money for future education too, FastWeb, which even shows a calendar for knowing when certain scholarships are due and the many scholarships there are out there.

Well, tighter belts mean that the "necessity is the mother of invention" thing is coming more into play. I have noticed some pretty interesting new inventions, product ideas, and e-commerce ideas going on. Have you? I am hoping and praying that these times will birth in the American people a new sense of entrepreneurship, a new sense of responsibility, appreciation and care for what we have. It's happening in me. Is it happening in you?

Lastly, I am really chewing on my message when I preach on October 19th. I will be doing that down in Socorro and Magdalena. I am going to preach it from Exodus 33, in which Moses confronts the Lord with questions, asking essentially, for God's reassurance. It's a famous passage in which Moses demands to see God's "glory" and that's where God draws the line and says, "Let me put you up in the cleft of this rock and hide you there as I pass by... no one can see my glory and live." I really love it. I think it really speaks to me and is quite timely for others right now too. Everyone I know is struggling some with the economy. It reminds me of grade school when it was also tough times. I remember the 70s too, sitting in the back seat of our big blue Ford Gran Torino station wagon, waiting for an eternity for my parents to pump it with gas, noting a long line behind us. Things have been worse, things have been better. Things could be WAAAAAY worse. I'm pro-Obama, in case you couldn't tell yet. We cannot see the future very clearly, just like we cannot know all of God or think we have the authority or tolerance to see God 360 degrees around. All we can be reassured of is that God's favor is on us all and we are not allowed to know everything about Him. We don't even have to. We just need to follow him on this wilderness-type journey. In a way, it's supposed to take a little bit of pressure off of us, so we're meant to spend our energies on other, much more productive things - not worrying about the future - but having reassurance that what we see is not all there is.

Every morning when I go out of my apartment to my pickup truck, I get a full view of Sandia Crest, about 10000+ feet above sea level. Although everything surrounding the crest changes on a daily basis - depending on snowfall, cloud formations, humidity, etc., it only looks like it changes from one day to the next. Some days it's virtually gone because of clouds. But it is always there. That, in some other form, will be my hermeneutical bridge for the sermon I preach on the 19th. It may even be a sermon illustration. We'll see.

I should give a plug for someone/something very special. If you are interested in getting involved with online dialogue with a class of seminary students doing Biblical exegesis, go to http://www.encounterscripture.net/ I was involved in part of the startup for this site. In the Spring, their seminary offers Biblical exegesis/translation classes in the New Testament and usually offers a way for the public to read and follow the work of the students. I was really proud to share this with my significant other (I am going to call him "SO" for a while), who then responded in saying that he thought it was very "enlightened" of my 70+ year old professor to want outside people to read up and interact with the students' research and heartfelt assessments. I think outside people can actually sign on for the "e-class", assuming it's the same as it was when I was a teaching/office assistant.

Well, I need to go and make chocolate chip cookies! I bought the red-white-blue package of chocolate chips today because they were the cheapest. Anyways, I am proud of the savings today, the possibility of work, etc.

God is good. Thank God for small favors and plentiful grace. Thank God for the gratitude we feel when we're surviving and we finally get even a small break, a sliver of light. Amen.
Amy-san

hurting eyeballs

My eyeballs hurt today. I haven't been sleeping all that great. Last night it was partly Misty's fault because that crazy fluffy cat was very active! Unfortunately whenever I heard a sound I wondered if she was up to naughty stuff - just being a cat. She has a tendency to try to get my attention when I am trying to sleep and of course, she gets it! I love her but occasionally we have a night light that. Then as soon as I get mad at her I can see her look up at me in the near-darkness and I know she is using those humongous kitty eyes and fluffy cheeks and I immediately just want to laugh. That's the problem. She's so dang cute.

Both cats have been kind of needy lately, even though I have been home a lot more than when I used to have a job. It is probably because I am often at my computer, looking for a job. That is a full-time job in itself, and unfortunately I haven't been taking a lot of time to just "be" - I end up "doing" so much and until I suddenly realize it's late at night. Periwinkle finds a way to work herself onto my lap between my tummy and my laptop computer, which is quite a dainty feat. She is so careful and doesn't walk on the computer. It's a tight fit but she makes it work, even though she's a full grown cat.

Hey - I have a fun pattern that I adapted to a hot pad for use in the kitchen. I knit half of a square, starting with a single stitch, increasing the last stitch of every row until it's a triangle (half a square). Then, from one side, I knit perpendicular to it, adapting a pattern from the entrelac style of knitting, but I used the garter stitch the whole time so there is no "wrong side" to it. It looks pretty cool now. Here's a little diagram that shows the directions that the stitches are going.

My pattern, using size 7 straight needles and comparable yarn, went as follows
Make slip knot on left needle.

Row 1: Inc1, turn

Row 2: K1, Inc1 turn

Row 3: K2, Inc1 turn

Row 4: K3, Inc1 turn

Continue in this pattern until you have 33 stitches on needle.

Now, to "grow" rows perpendicular to the rows just created, do the following:

Row 1: Inc1, K2tog (for the rest of this, knit the second stitch with next stitch on your left needle). turn

Row 2: K3. turn

Row 3: Inc1, K1, K2tog. turn

Row 4: K4. turn

Row 5: Inc1, K2, K2tog. turn

Row 6: K5. turn

Row 7: Inc1, K3, K2tog. turn

Row 8: K6. turn

Row 9: Inc1, K4, K2tog. turn

Row 10: K7. turn

Row 11: Inc1, K5, K2tog. turn

Row 12: K8. turn

Row 13: Inc1, K6, K2tog. turn

Row 14: K9. turn

Row 15: Inc1, K7, K2tog. turn

Row 16: K10. turn

Row 17: Inc1, K8, K2tog. turn

Row 18: K11. turn.

Row 19: Inc1, K9, K2tog. turn

Row 20: K12, turn.

Row 21: Inc1, K10, K2tog, turn

Row 22: K13, turn

Row 23: Inc1, K11, K2tog, turn

Row 24: K14, turn.

Row 25: Inc1, K12, K2tog, turn

Row 26: K15, turn.

Row 27: Inc1, K13, K2tog, turn

Row 28: K16, turn

Row 29: Inc1, K14, K2tog, turn

Row 30: K17, turn. Now to decrease the diagonal edge of the square. You're in the homestretch.

Row 31: K2tog, K14, K2tog, turn

Row 32: K16, turn

Row 33: K2tog, K13, K2tog, turn

Row 34: K15, turn

Row 35: K2tog, K12, K2tog, turn

Row 36: K14, turn.

Row 37: K2tog, K11, K2tog, turn.

Row 38: K15, turn.

Row 39: K2tog, K10, K2tog, turn.

Row 40: K14, turn.

continue after this pattern decreasing and knitting together until you have completely joined every row of the triangle to a new row. If you have come this far in the pattern, you will see what I mean. It looks kind of cool! You will arrive at one stitch remaining on a corner of the hot pad.

enjoy!

this just in

This just in... I am still looking for a job. My plans today are this: to call Hobby Lobby and Einstein Bros about jobs. Even though these things have nothing to do with my career path or area of education, I wouldn't mind being a part-time knitting teacher or a bagel baker. I really wouldn't mind. I love doing both. Please God help me out a little! I need to feed my cats or they will feed on me! Ha ha. That's really gross. Obviously, if you're reading this, I am having a moment of insanity and anxiety mixed together just enough that I can kind of laugh at myself.

Edwin Friedman would say I need to refresh myself, and my sense of adventure. He would say (in his book "A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix) that anxiety is the number one thing that prevents us from achieving all that we can and all that God calls me to be. My anxiety, that is. In times like these, we can't be too anxious because so much else outside of us is creating anxiety for us these days - the stock market falling, the unemployment rates, the lack of credit available to everyone, the anxiety about electing a president who is right for the job, not to mention the jillions of other things that cause us anxiety. I have to remind myself that finding a new job is one of those top things that cause us serious stress - along with losing your job, getting divorced, death of a spouse, and moving into a new (or in my case, rent) home. I think just by naming that anxiety in my life, I can be more powerful and open to what else this world is demanding of me right now.

If you are still reading this blog, try to find the book I mentioned by Edwin Friedman. He was a genius of the pastoral counseling world. He stands on the shoulders of giants in the world of family systesm theory, but Friedman's book speaks to the everyman and everywoman who seeks to get over the pathologies of this age. He was definitely on my mind these past 2 weeks as we all bit our nails watching the markets and questioned what kind of Band-Aid our Congress was going to vote for. I kept praying and hoping that this Band-Aid would work. I questioned is this just something they are trying to create to avoid making the American people angrier than we already are? Is Congress afraid of adventure, are they afraid of our wrath? I get it - the Band-Aid is supposed to prevent further economic disaster. I am not an expert in this subject but I think as we try to figure out how to respond to this situation, we have to identify when we are acting out of pure fear and anxiety.

Okay. I have to disengage from that for a second. I just wish our hearts and motivations are in the right place when we start fiddling with something that is really broken. I remember when I was about 6 years old and my parents left me alone with their old 8-track stereo system. I was so curious I pushed a button. That messed things up. So I pushed another button thinking that would fix it. That messed things up even worse. Then I started doing all kinds of things to it - switching it on and off - until my dad showed up and got angry at me. I was told to not "mess with it," because I was making it worse. Sometimes things have to unravel or reset themselves to a point before we can get to a familiar place and work from there. Sometimes perhaps we Americans should be a little more humbled, brought down a peg, so we can finally see where we really need work done. What would have happened if we had not passed these Band-Aid bills in Congress? Would we have finally found our way back? Will we find our way back now?

Sometimes disasters happen to make way for better things. I cannot say that in every situation, for some people are just dealt a crappy hand in life and someone should give them a break/leg up. But other disasters free us up to seek better ways of life. For instance, I hope that with this awful economic situation we're in we can give better breaks and incentives to small businesses, and particularly to those who are Green businesses in competition with the Corporates. It is in the best interest of this nation, individuals and the planet that we find ways to keep that conduit of fresh, new business flowing.

Regarding other, craftier stuff - I am looking for a cheap computer program or some kind of tip to help me design knitting patterns on graph paper. I am thinking about designing some basic yet cute designs with simply a standard garter stitch pattern. The "design" will actually be a graphic or a word or something in stockinette stitch. Any recommendations out there?

If you are also unemployed and reading this, feel free to comment and read at your leisure. These are things many people are afraid of right now, I realize. Some people have it much worse off than I. I wish all of you God's peace and a little bit of good timing.
Amy-san

Blah-being unemployed!

Apparently I have nothing better to do than to procrastinate about looking for jobs today. I have been at it since the end of August, and for a while it can be fun to get stuff done around the house, explore daytime TV and let my cats lie all over me. I've already complained about being unemployed before. Today it bugs me that I have a masters degree and no one desires to hire me. What else can I do to make money? I have imagined doing many things, such as even entrepreneurial stuff, like marketing my own talents - beyond the standard resume + cover letter.

I applied to several jobs with the state of New Mexico, mainly at the university. There is a joke around this town that true New Mexicans live on "New Mexico time." As someone who grew up on the East Coast, and then later lived in the fast-track world of Dallas, Houston and Austin, this different time-line for getting things done kind of maddens me. "Maddens" as in drives me a little nuts. I have to remember that "when in Rome" etc.

And the time line is complicated yet further by the fact that I am also looking for a much different career path than before. As much as I would love to do any of the work I am presently considering, my dream is to be a chaplain and/or teacher. Right now, I am investigating how to get into the baking business as a small business owner with NO CAPITAL AND BAD CREDIT, how to become an elementary school-level tutor, how to be a sort of "free-lance" preacher/chaplain, how to market my skills and talents in teaching people how to knit. None of these projects offer enough income individually, and I'm looking at a major juggling act right now. Hmmmm. I am even thinking about how to manage my own little website and make some money on the traffic and ads. Perhaps all of this stuff can work together, or I won't even need to juggle a bunch of them. Oh, how much I miss hanging out with dying people in hospitals!!!

I really do. That's my dream job. Caring for people in dire circumstances. That's what I have been doing for over this past year until that internship finished up. I am one of these folks who is quite talented at this kind of work, but my experience and current certification don't yet measure up. Some of that hopefully will change on October 27th!!! That's a special day for me, or a depressing one, maybe, because that's when I will get a special email to tell me whether I passed my ordination exams or not. I pray that I may pass at least 2 of the 3. That would really help my confidence levels. Of course, I want to pass all of them because I don't want to retake them again.

I have so many amazing experiences working as a chaplain that I miss it so. Please pray for me.

I must say that I feel a little twinge of irritation today because a Catholic sister who is a friend of mine got a job. She was in the same internship as me. I am irritated because I feel like I am better than she and she has an entire community of sisters and superiors who helped to place her there. I have to tell myself repeatedly that this irritation is really my own anxiety about not having found a job yet, and that this happened because she and I are simply on very different life paths. So I need some help remembering that.

Anyways, I have some phone calls to make and a meeting at 11 am. Thanks for listening (are you?). Peace to you. May time be a gift and not a curse for all of us right now.

Happy Late St. Francis Day

In memoriam: Bill the Skink. I am remembering Bill today because this past Sunday was St. Francis Day. The folks at church got to bring in their pets, photos of pets, and photos of past pets, so that we might celebrate and bless the creatures who bring us joy and remind us of our humanity and humility. Thank God for the creatures who bring us down to earth!

Now, in addition to Misty and Periwinkle the cats, I only have a fish named Bob. Bob is a tough little Tiger Barb who has put up with my irregular feedings, and an occasional kitty paw in the water. I can't believe he's still alive. I brought him a friend once, who he proceeded to pick to death. I guess Bob rules the tank. I've had this little fish for over a year now.

Bill the skink was a good lizard, who I had for over 11 years! He also put up with a lot because he traveled with me around Dallas as I kept moving around, then he moved with me to Austin, where my life took a really disorganized turn for another 5 years. Finally, he died of what I guess may have been old age, because I couldn't figure out what else caused it. These types of skinks (called "Schneider Skinks" or "Berber Skinks") have about a 12 year life expectancy. St. Francis would be happy to know that Bill not only breathed life into mine, but he also was a source of frequent entertainment for Periwinkle, who came into my life later on as a 2 month old kitten. Every time I try to take a picture of that cat, she's asleep!

Happy Late St. Francis Day to everyone. Don't forget to hug and love the animals in your life.

furry shed explained, and other things

I have set this blog up because I used to use a journal. Unfortunately, this means that most people who read this will be rapidly confused by my storytelling. Right now I cannot make much of a blog-entry (is that the right terminology?) because a cat is on my lap getting her fur all over me. She thinks that it is all about her and yet, she's probably right. This blog will serve partly as a place for me to complain - after all, like - how many people are unemployed out there? - like an enormous percentage in New mexico, I am having trouble finding work too. Sucks. Hopefully one of the many resumes I have sent out will stick. I have been gradually having to adjust and readjust my career expectations since my internship ended 2 months ago and instead of applying just for the jobs I want - teaching and chaplain jobs - I am also applying to places like crafts stores, bagels (to be a bagel-baker) and am signed up with about 50 percent of the local employment / staffing services. EEEK! What are we going to do as a nation - with so many of us unemployed and the economy in the toilet? If you have seen my toilet, that's a really terrible assessment of the economy.

Well, it is presently the international Balloon Fiesta here until October 12. The balloons are incredible - if you leave the house before 8 am, you can see all the way across the city (the Rio Grande Basin) all these balloons just hanging there in the sky like dozens of colorful earrings. I still haven't gone because I really don't feel like dealing with the crowds. But I'm enjoying it anyways!

We got about 1-1/2 inches of rain this past weekend, if you were up in the East Mountains near Sandia Crest. That's a LOT o rain - and it fell steadily all night long. We actually offered prayers of thanksgiving for it in church Sunday.

Last night was the 3rd night that I led a women's Bible study at an Episcopal church. We are loosely guided by http://www.womeninthebible.net/. It's a pretty good website. I think that the group of women should get the credit for how well this class is going because they are eager for the fellowship and for the stimulation we get for just encountering what the Bible says to us without a lot of filters. Last night we had a wonderful discussion sharing what we believe have been "religious experiences," after talking about Hagar, the Egyptian slave-girl of Abram and Sarai. If you're reading my blog, stop it now and read about Hagar instead (Gen 16:6-16 and Gen 21:1-24?). She was a "stranger in a strange land" and experienced further alienation in part due to the traditional slavery customs of the time. Next week we'll look at Rebecca!

Anyways, I guess I should explain "the furry shed" - I live in a small, poorly-ventilated apartment with 2 cats - need I say more? Well, additionally, I shed - because of my long hair - and I like to knit - so that's another fuzz-related issue I have. Furthermore, sometimes I use fuzzy logic and fuzzy intelligence to navigate my life, which sometimes drives certain "types" of people beyond madness. So there are all kinds of reasons to call this blog what it really is - coming from a "furry shed"!

Lastly, I may blog again later and I should apologize in advance because I am preparing to write a sermon and when I do that I start to leak at the seams with things that I am learning. I might actually try my sermon out on you (textually, of course). Thanks for writing this. More will emanate from my head later on. Cheers!
Amy-san