Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Blah-being unemployed!

Apparently I have nothing better to do than to procrastinate about looking for jobs today. I have been at it since the end of August, and for a while it can be fun to get stuff done around the house, explore daytime TV and let my cats lie all over me. I've already complained about being unemployed before. Today it bugs me that I have a masters degree and no one desires to hire me. What else can I do to make money? I have imagined doing many things, such as even entrepreneurial stuff, like marketing my own talents - beyond the standard resume + cover letter.

I applied to several jobs with the state of New Mexico, mainly at the university. There is a joke around this town that true New Mexicans live on "New Mexico time." As someone who grew up on the East Coast, and then later lived in the fast-track world of Dallas, Houston and Austin, this different time-line for getting things done kind of maddens me. "Maddens" as in drives me a little nuts. I have to remember that "when in Rome" etc.

And the time line is complicated yet further by the fact that I am also looking for a much different career path than before. As much as I would love to do any of the work I am presently considering, my dream is to be a chaplain and/or teacher. Right now, I am investigating how to get into the baking business as a small business owner with NO CAPITAL AND BAD CREDIT, how to become an elementary school-level tutor, how to be a sort of "free-lance" preacher/chaplain, how to market my skills and talents in teaching people how to knit. None of these projects offer enough income individually, and I'm looking at a major juggling act right now. Hmmmm. I am even thinking about how to manage my own little website and make some money on the traffic and ads. Perhaps all of this stuff can work together, or I won't even need to juggle a bunch of them. Oh, how much I miss hanging out with dying people in hospitals!!!

I really do. That's my dream job. Caring for people in dire circumstances. That's what I have been doing for over this past year until that internship finished up. I am one of these folks who is quite talented at this kind of work, but my experience and current certification don't yet measure up. Some of that hopefully will change on October 27th!!! That's a special day for me, or a depressing one, maybe, because that's when I will get a special email to tell me whether I passed my ordination exams or not. I pray that I may pass at least 2 of the 3. That would really help my confidence levels. Of course, I want to pass all of them because I don't want to retake them again.

I have so many amazing experiences working as a chaplain that I miss it so. Please pray for me.

I must say that I feel a little twinge of irritation today because a Catholic sister who is a friend of mine got a job. She was in the same internship as me. I am irritated because I feel like I am better than she and she has an entire community of sisters and superiors who helped to place her there. I have to tell myself repeatedly that this irritation is really my own anxiety about not having found a job yet, and that this happened because she and I are simply on very different life paths. So I need some help remembering that.

Anyways, I have some phone calls to make and a meeting at 11 am. Thanks for listening (are you?). Peace to you. May time be a gift and not a curse for all of us right now.

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