two weeks later...

I think it has been almost 2 weeks since my last post.  Much has happened.  My parents visited for a few days.  While visiting, my grandmother died in Houston.  That night, Merle and I had an overnight with the youth group and I think I only got 4 hours of sleep.  And I got hired permanently at my temporary place of employment, which is good.  Tomorrow I fly out of Albuquerque to Houston and attend my grandmother's funeral and stuff.  I've got a lot on my mind. 

And I have paid off many of my bills, but don't know how I will afford the rent, due on 10/5.  I may have to ask my parents if I could "borrow" some money, although paying them back is a big question.  When I got my first paycheck at this job, it was approximately 140 dollars, for just two days of work.  Next time, I think I will be paid for 8 or 10 days.  I guess I am not entirely sure.  If we get paid every two weeks, then I guess it would be for 10 days.  And if I got 140 dollars for 2 days, assuming the deductions might be the same, then I could be paid at most 700 dollars, come October 2.  We shall see what happens.  I might still see if I could borrow about 150 dollars from my parents.  Well, that's that.

So my grandmother passed away.  She was my last living grandparent.  She was also a great lady to me.  I don't feel like writing about her yet, but I will, perhaps tomorrow.  Just wanted to post something new.

I went to a parade in Old Town, Albuquerque last Saturday.  This was one of my favorites.

Miss Periwinkle herself.  She's so sweet and pretty.

Will write more.  Peace.

busy but okay

I have been busy lately but feel totally tired. I am in my second week working as a receptionist at a school with pre-K-6.  It's been pretty neat and I have been enjoying getting to know the children there.  I think they might want to keep me there through December, and after that, who knows?  I would like to see if I can find a call by the beginning of the new year.  We'll see what happens. 

Here is a balloon rising up behind the school where I am working, as I arrived this past Friday morning.

The good thing is if I can make about 300/week for the next few months, I might be able to get control of my bills for once, and perhaps even pay some other things that I sorely have needed.  From my keyboard to God's ears.  Your prayers are coveted.  Peace,
Amy

Psalm 91 Holy Cross Women's Bible Study September 2, 2009

Here is what we will be studying tomorrow nite at Holy Cross, Psalm 91

Introduction

Unlike the other Psalms we’ve studied so far, this Psalm gives no author or context, other than what is provided in its verses. There isn’t much. It proclaims a sense of assurance for the writer, to the listener, of the ways that the Lord (the “Most High,” often a Canaanite term for God) protects those who put their faith in God. While there are many questions as to the purpose and context of this Psalm, it remains a favorite among anyone who seeks comfort and assurance in God’s protection. [see page 2 to read together]

What shape is it?

Unlike some psalms, which have an obvious refrain (“se-lah”), this one does not. There is a certain parallelism of ideas between verses 9 (making the Most High a refuge), 10 (safety from harm), 11-12 (angels will protect) and 13 (safety so strong you can tread on the lion and the serpent). This provides us a list of reassurances of God’s protective presence. There may be a similar parallelism in verses 3-8, but it is not as pronounced, although such parallelism is probably most apparent here in verses 3, 5, 6, 8. Verses 4 and 7, however, are organized with a very different, triple-line structure.

The Psalm begins and ends with verses 1-2 and verses 14-16. It introduces the Psalm from the “first-person” perspective, “I will say of the Lord…” The NIV and the NRSV prefer to translate this part with the “I” but other versions choose to translate it as “he,” in the 3rd-person perspective. Verses 14-16 then speak from the Lord’s perspective, “I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name…”

The translation of verses 2 and 14-16 are in quotes, although the original Hebrew manuscripts did not contain any types of punctuation or even spaces between the words and letters. The knowledge of how it ought to be punctuated was passed on orally. Quotation marks are not used in the ancient Greek version either, but have to be inferred from the text . Not even the Masoretic Hebrew Scriptures (translated back into Hebrew in the Middle Ages) used punctuation as we have today, although they used a different form of punctuation that would tell a reader where to anticipate where clauses start and end.

Taking the Psalm in total, we might read it as the following: 1-2 is an introduction that proclaims one person’s confidence in the Lord (I). Verses 3-13 is telling other persons (you) about what the Lord does to protect. Verses 14-16 is a reassurance directly from the mouth of God.

What is it? Genre and History of Tradition

Jewish

Royal Psalm: Some have ascribed this as a “royal psalm” for several reasons. The Greek version (Septuagint) has a heading which says that it is a Psalm of David, while other versions say it is a it is a dialogue between David and his son the future King Solomon. Others suggest that it may have been recited for a king before he went out to battle, as a defense against spells and demons (the word “pestilence” in verse 6 was translated by the Septuagint as “word” or “spell” and a “demon” (Oxford Bible Commentary, 391).

Entrance Liturgy:  It also has been suggested as a form of “entrance liturgy” spoken by a priest to the worshipper. Others believe that this might have been a part of the rites for a Jewish convert, who has now chosen YHWH as his/her protector.

Christian

Verses 11-12 are reflected in the temptation narrative in Mt 4:6 and Lk 4:10-11. For many Christians, this has messianic meaning. This Psalm has been a favorite of Christians around the world, as a reminder of God’s protection and benevolence even when inscrutable, fearful evil is stalking us.

The Revised Standard Version is hailed by scholars as being more accurate than the NRSV. It is not clear whether there is a dialogue between verses 1-13 and 14-16, however the changes of person and exclamations interrupt this psalm.

Theological Applications (all of them are up for discussion!)

Uncontrollable Evil: This Psalm calls for God’s protection against the kind of evil that seems much more powerful than we are. What do you think? If God promises such protection, why does evil befall believers? When have you been protected by God “against all odds?” (Serendipity Bible for Groups, 763)

Images of God/the imago dei: This Psalm contains several images of God, including a mother bird (eagle or hen), one who casts a protective shadow, benevolent towards those who seek God’s refuge, faithful towards us, a protector/shield/force-field, sender of angels, deflector, one who empowers us… What are some other images of God you can find in this Psalm? In what way(s) have you experienced God as one of these, or have you experienced God in other ways? How are we in the imago dei and not in the imago dei? In what ways do you struggle to live in the image of God?

Psalm 91 (RSV translation from www.crosswalk.com) Let’s find 3 people (A, B and C) to read the following together.

A 1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, who abides in the shadow of the Almighty,

B 2 will say to the LORD, "My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust."

A 3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence; 4 he will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. 5 You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, 6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. 7 A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand; but it will not come near you. 8 You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked.

B 9 Because you have made the LORD your refuge, the Most High your habitation, 10 no evil shall befall you, no scourge come near your tent. 11 For he will give his angels charge of you to guard you in all your ways. 12 On their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone. 13 You will tread on the lion and the adder, the young lion and the serpent you will trample under foot.

C 14 Because he cleaves to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. 15 When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will rescue him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him, and show him my salvation.

Sources:

• Barton, John and John Muddiman. The Oxford Bible Commentary. (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001).

• http://www.crosswalk.com/, Revised Standard Version.

• The Serendipity Bible for Groups: New International Version. (Littleton, CO: Serendipity House, 1988).

Spirit Of The Living God

This is one of my favorite meditational hymns that I learned when I was a kid in youth group.  I think I might teach this to my youth group!

Spirit Of The Living God

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I didn't get the job

Same old story.  I didn't get the chaplain job for which I recently interviewed.  I felt like crying when I got the impersonal form e-mail that simply said "thank you...blah blah blah" and "...you can look for other opportunities on www..." I feel a few of those emotions that might be associated with grief.  I am feeling some anger... looking for something to get angry about at the institution that did not want to hire me.  I am feeling sadness and fear, because I have the feeling of anxiety that comes with bereavement.  I say these things to process them.  However, I recognize that this grief isn't just like the loss of a person I love.  I know that loss too. 

This loss represents the loss of potential income, the loss of my vision for the future, that loss we call unrealized dreams.  This loss is also an intrapsychic loss, meaning I am struggling to make sense of where I belong in this world.  Where do I belong?  I don't know anymore, because all I know is I want to do ministry, transform lives of others, encourage and challenge the spiritual and emotional lives of persons I meet. 

Lately I'm feeling like I am being drawn and quartered.  I need to probably cut loose a little more from the Episcopal church where I have been serving on a volunteer basis with their youth group and their women's Bible study.  These have been wonderful opportunities for me to gain more ministry experience in areas that I can be better at.  However, I suppose I have been hoping that by throwing myself into these areas, which I really love doing, by the way, I guess I was thinking that they might somehow mystically lead me or connect me to other opportunities along the way.  I thought I was trusting God to help me find the way through this wilderness, but I guess I wasn't trusting God "correctly."  I have nothing else to put my trust in right now.  My state pension is all that I have left and I don't want to simply cash it in without a plan. 

It's weird how having faith is definitely a risk, but with the assurance of God's goodness towards us, but a risk that we will feel a sense of disappointment along the way.  But when we have that disappointment, we are asked to just have more faith.  Last night I dreamed, after I had gotten the word that I didn't get the job, that someone stole my wallet and cell phone.  It was the sickest feeling I had had in a dream, in a long time.  I know it was an anxiety dream.  I simply looked into my purse and all I had was a few receipts and pens.  It was horrible.  I thought, I didn't even know how to find a working pay phone to call my creditors, since pay phones are so rare these days!

The only comfort I have been getting regarding a sense of security recently is the knowledge that the temp agency tries to offer me as much work as possible.  Today I am preparing to work as a receptionist at a private Christian school, hopefully as long as it takes for them to find a permanent person to fill that position.  I might be able to work for them next week too, but I cannot put all my eggs in one basket.  Well, this is a discussion that is going to keep on going, and I need to get dressed for work.  I hate being a receptionist, but perhaps I will enjoy this assignment.
Peace
Amy