It's been interesting

It's been interesting lately! I am enjoying the snowfall, finally the most significant I have seen in more than a year. We are supposed to get another 2 waves of it before the weekend. It's supposed to come through tomorrow on Thursday from California. I am glad to get some snow finally.

I put up my Christmas tree too. It's about 5 feet tall and I only put a few little ornaments on there. It has lots of small white lights however. The light at Christmas is so important to me, perhaps even more so this year than in previous years. I have also been trying to get into the Christmas Spirit by reading Schliermacher's dialogue on Christmas Eve. It's a wonderful creative work of theology. I have found I do not appreciate his attitude/assumptions about women however. One of the characters, a woman in the room, speaks up about what she thinks and another character chides her about what the Bible says about women (presumably about their authority to speak about religious matters). I also found him to be a little narrow-minded in saying that since women do not "possess the fruits of science within themselves," then they are more fervent and "unreservedly attached to the Church." I would say that it's possible that if women had been permitted to "possess the fruits of science," that is, to be permitted to study the sciences (remember this was written just around the Age of Enlightenment and while the Scientific Method was being developed, they weren't quite enlightened enough for women to be allowed to participate, except in rare situations), women just may have been able to find a way to possess both the fruits of their scientific studies, and be full participants in the life and theological development of the Church. Women have traditionally been socialized in this country as "peacemakers" and relational people who find ways to reconciliation among people, even if it means to be creatively searching for new ways to understand things. How could things have turned out differently if we had permitted women to have equal say in the philosophical development of scientific inquiry and theological inquiry? Would there have ever been a Scopes Trial? Could we have helped the world evolve emotionally a little faster and more peacefully? Would we have had so many wars in the name of YHWH, Allah, or any other holy name?

Schliermacher had a long-term infatuation with a woman in his younger days, as a student. I don't think he ever got over it. I find this fascinating about him because it reflected how emotionally attached he had become, perhaps as someone who was an utter romantic, born out of the age of Romance, grew up somewhat isolated from his own mother by being sent away to school, grew attached to the Pietistic religious movements of his region. I have split feelings about him because he both embraced the emotional aspects of religion and I believe that his attachments to women had much influence on this theology about religion as "feeling" and growth into greater awareness of Christ. However, he seems limited in seeing the full range of power in such "feeling." He became fiercely nationalistic later in life, which I believe was a sign that he was taking "feelings" in a direction that women would not have intended. This is not to say that women do not also have the propensity to let their feelings go out of control or to allow them to close their hearts to rational thought. We are all guilty of that.

I would argue, however, that the nationalism of Schliermacher takes religion as "feeling" in a direction for which our "feelings" about faith were not intended. I would also say that nationalism is not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself either, for I do adhere to the common principles of conscience and participation in one's own nation's interests. But what Schliermacher writes is a tiny bit over the edge. If you read his sermon on Nation, Church and State, preached 28 March 1813, you can see retrospectively how his theology grossly influence the rise of German nationalism over the succeeding decades. I think that whenever we allow our feelings to break up rather than seek reconciliation between people and nations, then perhaps we should review those feelings and reconsider whether they are adequately representing the consciousness of Christ that we first accepted. Schliermacher would say that when we become Christians, we accept an inner call to a journey that will continue for the rest of our lives, as we grow and grow into greater awareness of Christ in ourselves, or "God-Consciousness." If we forsake that awareness and simply take it for granted, we might lose our necessary link between our "religion as feeling" and our journey into greater "God-Consciousness." In other words, you can't have one without the other because they keep each other in check. This is why Schliermacher is such a contributor to modern theology, particularly Reformed theology. I see these two theological attributes as inseparable, yet at times linked like two train rails that run parallel.

Schliermacher says some wonderful things in his Christmas Eve dialogue however. Here they are:
On Christmas festival: "It is the distinctive nature of this festival that through it we should become conscious of an innermost ground out of which a new, untrammeled life emerges, and of its inexhaustible power, that in its very first germ we should already discern its finest maturity, even its highest perfection. However unconsciously it may reside in many people, our feeling of marvel can achieve resolution only in this concentrated vision of a new world, and in no other way. This vision may grip anyone, and he who brought it into being may thus be represented in a thousand images and in the most varied ways - as the rising, e'er returning sun, as the springtime of the spirit, asking of a better realm, as the most faithful emissary of the gods, as the prince of peace." (Schliermacher: Pioneer of Modern Theology, Fortress Press, 1991, p 198)

On being and becoming as an individual in a community: "In fact the union of being and becoming is found in humanity not incidentally but eternally; and this is because that union exists and comes into being as man in himself does...[which includes doing so in community as well]...which arises within a common life and activity with other men; for it is in comunity that that knowledge which is proper to our planet not only exists but develops. Only when a person sees humanity as a living community of individuals, cultivates humanity as a community, bears its spirit and consciousness in his life, and within that community both loses his isolated existence and finds it again in a new way - only then does that person have the higher life and peace of God within himself." (ibid, p 201)

Those are some great quotes to chew on. I'm almost tired of writing about Schliermacher now, but I think these are things to sleep on. See? He's an amazing and eloquent writer. He was visionary for his time, being around the turn of the 18th-19th century. He probably had an influence on Paul Tillich, who didn't come around the period of WWII. It would be very interesting to compare the theology of Schliermacher and theology of Tillich with respect to the theology of world religions. I have a book I would like to read by Tillich, called Christianity and the Encounter of World Religions.

Well, it's time to go. I have jobs to apply for, a sermon to write on 1 Corinthians 9:16-23 and some other miscellaneous paperwork. Yes, I am still looking for work and am thinking of how to fund my "life" until I do find work. I am asking myself whether to use more of my retirement funds, or even to withdraw funds from an annuity that I have never tapped before. I am wondering if this is what God wants me to do or not. I also would like to ask what my Grandpa would do, since much of this money was originally his and I just added to it some. Grandpa was a devout Catholic and is now in heaven with a whole different perspective on things. Through his own tenaciousness and frugality, he died a rich man and none of us were aware of it. I am not even sure if he was fully aware of the money he left. I have used some of this money as a means to graduate school. I am wondering now, as our country appears on the edge of some kind of mild depression, how this money should be used. I believe that I should be practical as much as possible in order to honor Grandpa's own pragmatism. He grew up through the Great Depression and he was one of the many honest, hard-working, men and women who learned the values of life the hard way. There is much wisdom in his saving up for so many years. And if I hear that wisdom, I understand that perhaps this is the right time to try and manage my finances so that I keep as much of them as possible invested in the future, as I also try to survive the present. I suppose if anyone reads this they are going to tell me to "pray on it." That's what I will do then.

Must go and take care of business. Bye for now.
Amy

Getting a clue

I wonder if I am finally getting a clue about my current state of unemployment. I am wondering what the whole point is in this exercise in endless job applications, since mid-August? Recently I told a friend at church that it's been hard and she said to me, "How long have you been unemployed?" I said, "About 3.5 months." And she said, "Oh, that's not too long." I felt a little shut down, because I have no idea whether she's considered that I haven't been in the real job market for about 5 years either, nor do I seem to qualify for much in the way of unemployment because I've only lived in this state for about 1 year. Still having trouble getting the NM Unemployment Registration form online to work so I can get some idea of what I qualify for!

So Bill Richardson will be our Commerce Secretary? That's interesting. I wonder who will take on his job? He really amazes me at the kind of crap he's had to deal with in this state. This is the most depressed state, out of all the states I've lived in. I am quite excited to see Obama's choices for cabinet secretaries. I am thrilled about his attitude and approach. I know that some have expressed concern over whether Richardson should have been Secretary of State, but I also think that Richardson might have more flexibility and versatility than Hillary and that Obama wanted both of them at that level of government, assisting him closely. I'm glad they've both been included.

As Obama said in his live announcement today about the Commerce Secretary position: "It's a good job." I think it's going to put Hispanic-Americans in the limelight every day because of the importance of our commerce right now, both our international and domestic commerce.

I have been busy scraping up funds that are lying around in various places (cyberly speaking), so I can keep on paying the bills. The biggest windfall recently was noticing that I had overpaid my cable bill for months so that they actually owe me a little over 700 dollars! So we have a reimbursement plan in motion. I am also expecting a check for 210 dollars because I overpaid for my ordination exams about a year ago, having registered for exams that I wasn't able to take. I'm impressed with my ability to research my financial records to be able to provide them with the proper proof. I guess I'm more organized than it seems.

I have been getting too much TV intake recently. I suppose it may be cheesy for some people, but I am actually getting really int 7th Heaven. I never thought I would be interested in that show but I certainly have been hooked now. The characters make me laugh and sometimes cry a little. I guess that's proof of a good drama or my own taste in TV.

I'm trying to think of new more productive ways to spend all of this free time being unemployed, besides taking online surveys and applying for jobs constantly. I have many ideas, but am not always motivated. I would like to do more puzzles, practice my German reading, do some extra Greek translation, prepare for my sermon in February for my exit interview with the Presbytery, watch more movies, play with my cats more... I think the first thing to do would be to clean up my apartment. I started yesterday when I had to go through a lot of old files - I have so many files from classes, billing, and other junk and I haven't figured out the best way to store them. I have similar, growing problem to the right of me, when I sit on my couch, with a number of knitting projects, all within arm's reach, with my choice of project to jump into. Let's see...I am making:

1 felted slippers for my boyfriend,
2 a hooded sweater with chunky yarn which is almost done,
3 mittens with boucle from a Lion Brand pattern (that are large enough for Frankenstein because I'm not following the pattern faithfully),
4 reusable shopping bag that expands when you stuff it (my second one in a month),
5 a "potato-chip" scarf,
6 a seed-stitch scarf that I might unravel and make into something else,
7 1 of 2 socks that I have been working on for about 8 months.

I that's all I have going on right now. I guess I have another sweater that has been waiting for me to find just the right color to go with it as edging around the sleeves and collar.

We've been getting a little bit of snow in the mountains lately which have made them spectacular to see. I haven't done it lately, but I used to stand in my parking lot and take a look at Sandia Crest and be filled with joy that I am lucky enough to live somewhere this beautiful and interesting. I shouldn't forget that feeling because it fuels my energy and reminds me of one of the reasons I am currently unemployed: because I have chosen to attempt to put down roots.

I have, fortunately, located a few possibilities to help me in the short term. What I need to do however, is take care of a little bit of personal business and I am going to leap right into those job possibilities. They are customer service jobs, answering telephones. Such jobs seem to have an endless need to hire because they have quite a turnover rate. So I have to make some quick decisions whether I really want to commit to their process because it is a "process." I have already looked at one and they wanted to hire me but they wouldn't be able to begin training me until January 12th! Hence the need to be on the ball and decided immediately whether to "go for it."

What else to report? Thanksgiving was wonderful. It snowed that night while we were celebrating at Mike and Lisa's. I had too much wine but it was just a great time. Before I had too much wine, I was honored to be asked to say a blessing and I made Jim cry. That always feels good, so long as the tears are good ones.

Well, it is time to go. I have to write up some "online interview" answers in my application to some jobs as a teacher in an online college. Wish me luck!
Love,
Amy