Fish for dinner

Hi -
I just came from the CostPlus World Market and got a bottle of wine (Erath Pinot Noir - an Oregon wine), a big baskety-box that can be a foot rest, a small "desk" when I sit on the couch to do whatever, and a bottle of Orange Bourbon Peppercorn sauce (for meats, etc.). I'm trying the sauce out right now on some salmon fillets, although I have a little concern about their age. I hope that I refroze them just in time. They smell good - although that's pretty much just sauce I smell. I guess that's how they did it in the olden times too with old meat - just dump a bunch of flavorful stuff on there. It smells like the sauce is starting to carmelize a little bit.

I recently got back in touch with an old boyfriend I dated during seminary. We broke up in a really frustrating way (frustrating for both of us, but for different reasons, kind of). I felt the need to contact him just to I guess let him know I'm okay and to see if he's okay. It was around December 2006, so I think enough time passed since then. I was actually really relieved to break up, but mad because he broke up with me by e-mail, after I had broken up with him twice and agreed to take him back. So I think I felt the need for us to kind of "make up" - although I was also trying to be careful not to make any significantly long-term conversation. I am glad however, to have been able to finally send him a CD of photos from our Middle East trip in Jan 2006, along with a book I thought he might be interested in reading. It's an anthology of various Christian writers since Augustine who talk about theology and animals. (Animals and Christianity) He e-mailed me with much thanks and that felt good. I'm glad we did that. He's off to the Univ of Illinois-Chicago sometime in the next couple of months to study something about history of great autobiographers. I used to worry about him...

I just discovered that my Windows Explorer crashes when I try to upload videos, unless I do everything while holding down the Ctrl key. What's up with that? I thought I would share just a tiny bit of the many photos I took on that trip.

Recently I have been hooked on http://www.hulu.com/. Go there and see all the cool stuff you can watch for free. I have thus far watched all but the last season of NewsRadio, all of Arrested Development, and lately I have been watching The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and WKRP in Cincinnati. Goofy selection of stuff, but then that's me. I have lost some sleep lately since becoming a Hulu fan. http://www.hulu.com/watch/709/the-mary-tyler-moore-show-toulousse-lautrec-is-one-of-my-favorite-artists They have ads but very few and they give me a chance to get up and go to the bathroom!

I preached at a church in Socorro this past weekend while their pastor was away at a CE event. I went off of the lectionary reading selection in favor of preaching from Mark 3:7-19. I preached about the authority that Jesus gives us to do our work in his ministry. I preached about how we get our authority from him, not so much from the authority we think we can come up with on our own. I must say, the longer I do this, the more Calvinist I find that I am. (although what I just said my sermon was about could be based on a number of protestant theologians)

I have another preaching opportunity coming up in June and then in July there. Hopefully I will be able to get the chance to preach at other churches besides this one, although I am grateful that they have been so welcoming. June 14th is when I preach about several Kingdom of God sayings in Mark 4:26-34. I haven't done a lot yet with it, but I am determined to try and have the sermon/outline at least a week in advance. I hope to get into the habit of doing this and haven't been so successful at being ready that far in advance thus far.

Today I also updated my log of the sermons I have preached and the other Biblical passages I have exegeted for sermons or other things. I thought it would be helpful for me to have a place to check before I start to exegete a text and see whether I have done anything with it before. I have yet to go through some of the hard-copy stuff that's not on my PC, like the entire Book of Revelation, just a rough translation, and quite a few selections from Mark. So if I can find where I filed all of that, it would give me a good start on any future sermons or other exegesis opportunities.

Well, I think that I will get going. I think I had other stuff to write, but I'm too tired. I think I'll go to bed now.

Peace,

Amy

Crank Yankers

Hey - did anyone ever see the show "Crank Yankers"? Here's a link to it. Funny stuff.

Aha! I thought so!

I haven't been on blogger in a while. Sorry - if you have ever wondered what happened to me. I got semi-stranded in the East Mountains and had to spend 2 weeks there. I housesat for my boyfriend and then my radiator and serpentine belt (and more!) needed to be fixed quite suddenly. I spent about 1300 dollars last week in total. I also need new brakes and possibly rotors. So there will be more money-spending going on...

I haven't had a whole lot of stuff that I have wanted to post on a blog. While I was house-sitting I have been working on my "exit interview" paperwork and a sermon, while will be preached to my ordination committee this coming weekend. So there has been a lot for me to type and reflect on but my audience is a bunch of Presbyterians with a specific thing in mind - they have to ask themselves whether they would be willing to trust me as their own pastor? That's a huge question to ask. Sometimes I am honored and humbled. Other times it is kind of scary, to know that this is the direction I am headed - the direction of a "caretaker" of people and God's "oikos."

Recently, I have had renewed appreciation of Paul's view of his work being a type of "office" - that being an apostle is like being a "caretaker" of the Gospel. The Gospel is to be served up freely to all who will hear it. And while at some point it takes root and grows in each heart, it is also necessary to be a type of "household manager" or a "treasurer of the mysteries of God" as Paul calls it in 1 Corinthians 4. My sermon this weekend will be on 1 Corinthians 9:16-23. I am thrilled to have the "I thought so!" feeling when I opened up my Oxford Bible Commentary to read, "...the content of ch. 9 appears out of place" in the section that otherwise tends to the issue of how eating food sacrificed to idols can affect your relationships to others in the group. It's because in the midst of all these discussions Paul offers the Corinthian church about how they care or not care for the needs of one another, all of a sudden, he lays out an entire chapter regarding his work as an apostle. Then he goes back to the subject of eating food sacrificed to idols. Codex Vaticanus (an Alexandrian text) includes all of ch 8-10 as a single lectionary reading in the early church, which means early Christians saw Paul's lessons on apostolic office and his "how-to-evangelize" as part and parcel of his discussion on community relationships. I am glad that even the Oxford has an initial reaction to this too.

Most certainly his point is that his "how-to-evangelize" methods are meant for application within the life of the community, not just to reach out to those who have never entered church walls. He is also pointing to a deeper point, one of integrity and devotion, because this is an "office" of being an apostle. He says in verse 17- if of my own will, I shall rceive an reward and if not of my own will, then I am entrusted with a commission..."(NRSV, sort of). What I hear here is that even when my will is weak, I can persevere knowing that I have been entrusted with a commission (Gk, "oikonomian" and related word for "treasurer" or "manager" = "oikonomos")." We are not just called when we wish to do something to spread God's good news around, we are called even into discomfort, places where we too have to be "all things to all people..." (v 22).

What does that look like for us? I was thinking of dreaming up a few different illustrations - possibly something from the phrase that has been spoken of a lot lately in the presidential race and inaugural weeks for our new President - "crossing the aisle." It seems like there has been a call to a different kind of integrity in government. I see it, where Obama has said that we have a moral responsibility to our position as the U.S. in this world. Like it or not, we are rather leaders in the world (although this might be changing!). We need to act like it by living by our own principles of government for all. So I suppose some form of that might be an illustration for persons within the church, to figure out how to "cross the aisle."

I have another "presidential" image - one from the TV series "The West Wing." I forgot what season this was from but there was one in which President Bartlett wants to hire a talented young lawyer whom he saw on TV. The problem was she was a Republican and it was a Democrat administration. The President didn't care and convinced this young woman, Ainsely Hayes, to take a job serving in the White House. She courageously accepted this honor. But she began to get harrassing messages and dead flowers in a vase, while White House aides were visibly irritated that she worked there. All of them, even Ainsley, are distracted from their service to the President, because their differences were overwhelming them.

It seems that the Corinthians were going through some distracting differences too. They had trouble sharing meals together. Some of the wealthier ones would have food that had been sacrificed to idols and those who were Jewish, or those who still believed in idols, were greivously offended if invited to the meal. The inability to share meals together was tearing at the fabric of their Christian fellowship. And it was tearing at unity. Other events had been happening - inappropriate sexual relationships hurt their fellowship. Everyone knows that can distract fellowship grieviously too! And, the differences between rich and poor, educated highly or just a little, were hurting their abilities to share even the bread and wine of the Lord's Table, that most sacred place where we are called into reconciliation. Paul is distraught over this and seeks to help them find new ways to be brought back together under Christ the Lord. And in an odd turn of arguments, all of a sudden he turns the camera on himself, to show them in a sort of "reality show," a peep inside his own mind and heart. He decides to take the autobiographical route to convince them that they should use the same method he uses for evangelism to reconnect with one another!

Well, I think I will continue along that theme for the sermon, and challenge people to "cross the aisle." However, the question of "who's in and who's out" in our lives today is not so clear. Sometimes the person who sits next to us in church is the person we never get around to asking out for a cup of coffee. Sometimes it's the person who strongly expresses political opinions in Sunday School class who we need to ask about their family and job. Or perhaps we are the ones who need someone to talk to us - maybe we need someone to show the Gospel in getting to know us better. Perhaps it is like the story I heard from a friend of mine - about two women she knows from church. One woman was hospitalized because of a miscarriage and lost her baby. The other women, a friend from church, came to visit her. Her friend felt utterly helpless because she couldn't think of anything to say to her, knowing that words cannot heal the grief. So she simply got into her bed with her, hugged her, and they cried together. It was like the Jewish practice of "sitting Shivah," in which persons come sit with the grieving family member(s) and they don't talk at all. They sit in silence for as long as they are able and only speak if the grieving speak to them first. I still need to think through how I would present that illustration in my sermon, although I suppose my attraction to it is because doing that kind of practice is a kind of acceptance of our weaknesses to "fix" other people. That practice, rather, is a way to simply "be" with that person who just needs you to show up.

Well, that's all I am going to say right now because I just made a calzone with ricotta, sauce, mozz, olives and pepperoni. Have a great day because I am about to!
Amy

It's been interesting

It's been interesting lately! I am enjoying the snowfall, finally the most significant I have seen in more than a year. We are supposed to get another 2 waves of it before the weekend. It's supposed to come through tomorrow on Thursday from California. I am glad to get some snow finally.

I put up my Christmas tree too. It's about 5 feet tall and I only put a few little ornaments on there. It has lots of small white lights however. The light at Christmas is so important to me, perhaps even more so this year than in previous years. I have also been trying to get into the Christmas Spirit by reading Schliermacher's dialogue on Christmas Eve. It's a wonderful creative work of theology. I have found I do not appreciate his attitude/assumptions about women however. One of the characters, a woman in the room, speaks up about what she thinks and another character chides her about what the Bible says about women (presumably about their authority to speak about religious matters). I also found him to be a little narrow-minded in saying that since women do not "possess the fruits of science within themselves," then they are more fervent and "unreservedly attached to the Church." I would say that it's possible that if women had been permitted to "possess the fruits of science," that is, to be permitted to study the sciences (remember this was written just around the Age of Enlightenment and while the Scientific Method was being developed, they weren't quite enlightened enough for women to be allowed to participate, except in rare situations), women just may have been able to find a way to possess both the fruits of their scientific studies, and be full participants in the life and theological development of the Church. Women have traditionally been socialized in this country as "peacemakers" and relational people who find ways to reconciliation among people, even if it means to be creatively searching for new ways to understand things. How could things have turned out differently if we had permitted women to have equal say in the philosophical development of scientific inquiry and theological inquiry? Would there have ever been a Scopes Trial? Could we have helped the world evolve emotionally a little faster and more peacefully? Would we have had so many wars in the name of YHWH, Allah, or any other holy name?

Schliermacher had a long-term infatuation with a woman in his younger days, as a student. I don't think he ever got over it. I find this fascinating about him because it reflected how emotionally attached he had become, perhaps as someone who was an utter romantic, born out of the age of Romance, grew up somewhat isolated from his own mother by being sent away to school, grew attached to the Pietistic religious movements of his region. I have split feelings about him because he both embraced the emotional aspects of religion and I believe that his attachments to women had much influence on this theology about religion as "feeling" and growth into greater awareness of Christ. However, he seems limited in seeing the full range of power in such "feeling." He became fiercely nationalistic later in life, which I believe was a sign that he was taking "feelings" in a direction that women would not have intended. This is not to say that women do not also have the propensity to let their feelings go out of control or to allow them to close their hearts to rational thought. We are all guilty of that.

I would argue, however, that the nationalism of Schliermacher takes religion as "feeling" in a direction for which our "feelings" about faith were not intended. I would also say that nationalism is not necessarily a bad thing in and of itself either, for I do adhere to the common principles of conscience and participation in one's own nation's interests. But what Schliermacher writes is a tiny bit over the edge. If you read his sermon on Nation, Church and State, preached 28 March 1813, you can see retrospectively how his theology grossly influence the rise of German nationalism over the succeeding decades. I think that whenever we allow our feelings to break up rather than seek reconciliation between people and nations, then perhaps we should review those feelings and reconsider whether they are adequately representing the consciousness of Christ that we first accepted. Schliermacher would say that when we become Christians, we accept an inner call to a journey that will continue for the rest of our lives, as we grow and grow into greater awareness of Christ in ourselves, or "God-Consciousness." If we forsake that awareness and simply take it for granted, we might lose our necessary link between our "religion as feeling" and our journey into greater "God-Consciousness." In other words, you can't have one without the other because they keep each other in check. This is why Schliermacher is such a contributor to modern theology, particularly Reformed theology. I see these two theological attributes as inseparable, yet at times linked like two train rails that run parallel.

Schliermacher says some wonderful things in his Christmas Eve dialogue however. Here they are:
On Christmas festival: "It is the distinctive nature of this festival that through it we should become conscious of an innermost ground out of which a new, untrammeled life emerges, and of its inexhaustible power, that in its very first germ we should already discern its finest maturity, even its highest perfection. However unconsciously it may reside in many people, our feeling of marvel can achieve resolution only in this concentrated vision of a new world, and in no other way. This vision may grip anyone, and he who brought it into being may thus be represented in a thousand images and in the most varied ways - as the rising, e'er returning sun, as the springtime of the spirit, asking of a better realm, as the most faithful emissary of the gods, as the prince of peace." (Schliermacher: Pioneer of Modern Theology, Fortress Press, 1991, p 198)

On being and becoming as an individual in a community: "In fact the union of being and becoming is found in humanity not incidentally but eternally; and this is because that union exists and comes into being as man in himself does...[which includes doing so in community as well]...which arises within a common life and activity with other men; for it is in comunity that that knowledge which is proper to our planet not only exists but develops. Only when a person sees humanity as a living community of individuals, cultivates humanity as a community, bears its spirit and consciousness in his life, and within that community both loses his isolated existence and finds it again in a new way - only then does that person have the higher life and peace of God within himself." (ibid, p 201)

Those are some great quotes to chew on. I'm almost tired of writing about Schliermacher now, but I think these are things to sleep on. See? He's an amazing and eloquent writer. He was visionary for his time, being around the turn of the 18th-19th century. He probably had an influence on Paul Tillich, who didn't come around the period of WWII. It would be very interesting to compare the theology of Schliermacher and theology of Tillich with respect to the theology of world religions. I have a book I would like to read by Tillich, called Christianity and the Encounter of World Religions.

Well, it's time to go. I have jobs to apply for, a sermon to write on 1 Corinthians 9:16-23 and some other miscellaneous paperwork. Yes, I am still looking for work and am thinking of how to fund my "life" until I do find work. I am asking myself whether to use more of my retirement funds, or even to withdraw funds from an annuity that I have never tapped before. I am wondering if this is what God wants me to do or not. I also would like to ask what my Grandpa would do, since much of this money was originally his and I just added to it some. Grandpa was a devout Catholic and is now in heaven with a whole different perspective on things. Through his own tenaciousness and frugality, he died a rich man and none of us were aware of it. I am not even sure if he was fully aware of the money he left. I have used some of this money as a means to graduate school. I am wondering now, as our country appears on the edge of some kind of mild depression, how this money should be used. I believe that I should be practical as much as possible in order to honor Grandpa's own pragmatism. He grew up through the Great Depression and he was one of the many honest, hard-working, men and women who learned the values of life the hard way. There is much wisdom in his saving up for so many years. And if I hear that wisdom, I understand that perhaps this is the right time to try and manage my finances so that I keep as much of them as possible invested in the future, as I also try to survive the present. I suppose if anyone reads this they are going to tell me to "pray on it." That's what I will do then.

Must go and take care of business. Bye for now.
Amy

Getting a clue

I wonder if I am finally getting a clue about my current state of unemployment. I am wondering what the whole point is in this exercise in endless job applications, since mid-August? Recently I told a friend at church that it's been hard and she said to me, "How long have you been unemployed?" I said, "About 3.5 months." And she said, "Oh, that's not too long." I felt a little shut down, because I have no idea whether she's considered that I haven't been in the real job market for about 5 years either, nor do I seem to qualify for much in the way of unemployment because I've only lived in this state for about 1 year. Still having trouble getting the NM Unemployment Registration form online to work so I can get some idea of what I qualify for!

So Bill Richardson will be our Commerce Secretary? That's interesting. I wonder who will take on his job? He really amazes me at the kind of crap he's had to deal with in this state. This is the most depressed state, out of all the states I've lived in. I am quite excited to see Obama's choices for cabinet secretaries. I am thrilled about his attitude and approach. I know that some have expressed concern over whether Richardson should have been Secretary of State, but I also think that Richardson might have more flexibility and versatility than Hillary and that Obama wanted both of them at that level of government, assisting him closely. I'm glad they've both been included.

As Obama said in his live announcement today about the Commerce Secretary position: "It's a good job." I think it's going to put Hispanic-Americans in the limelight every day because of the importance of our commerce right now, both our international and domestic commerce.

I have been busy scraping up funds that are lying around in various places (cyberly speaking), so I can keep on paying the bills. The biggest windfall recently was noticing that I had overpaid my cable bill for months so that they actually owe me a little over 700 dollars! So we have a reimbursement plan in motion. I am also expecting a check for 210 dollars because I overpaid for my ordination exams about a year ago, having registered for exams that I wasn't able to take. I'm impressed with my ability to research my financial records to be able to provide them with the proper proof. I guess I'm more organized than it seems.

I have been getting too much TV intake recently. I suppose it may be cheesy for some people, but I am actually getting really int 7th Heaven. I never thought I would be interested in that show but I certainly have been hooked now. The characters make me laugh and sometimes cry a little. I guess that's proof of a good drama or my own taste in TV.

I'm trying to think of new more productive ways to spend all of this free time being unemployed, besides taking online surveys and applying for jobs constantly. I have many ideas, but am not always motivated. I would like to do more puzzles, practice my German reading, do some extra Greek translation, prepare for my sermon in February for my exit interview with the Presbytery, watch more movies, play with my cats more... I think the first thing to do would be to clean up my apartment. I started yesterday when I had to go through a lot of old files - I have so many files from classes, billing, and other junk and I haven't figured out the best way to store them. I have similar, growing problem to the right of me, when I sit on my couch, with a number of knitting projects, all within arm's reach, with my choice of project to jump into. Let's see...I am making:

1 felted slippers for my boyfriend,
2 a hooded sweater with chunky yarn which is almost done,
3 mittens with boucle from a Lion Brand pattern (that are large enough for Frankenstein because I'm not following the pattern faithfully),
4 reusable shopping bag that expands when you stuff it (my second one in a month),
5 a "potato-chip" scarf,
6 a seed-stitch scarf that I might unravel and make into something else,
7 1 of 2 socks that I have been working on for about 8 months.

I that's all I have going on right now. I guess I have another sweater that has been waiting for me to find just the right color to go with it as edging around the sleeves and collar.

We've been getting a little bit of snow in the mountains lately which have made them spectacular to see. I haven't done it lately, but I used to stand in my parking lot and take a look at Sandia Crest and be filled with joy that I am lucky enough to live somewhere this beautiful and interesting. I shouldn't forget that feeling because it fuels my energy and reminds me of one of the reasons I am currently unemployed: because I have chosen to attempt to put down roots.

I have, fortunately, located a few possibilities to help me in the short term. What I need to do however, is take care of a little bit of personal business and I am going to leap right into those job possibilities. They are customer service jobs, answering telephones. Such jobs seem to have an endless need to hire because they have quite a turnover rate. So I have to make some quick decisions whether I really want to commit to their process because it is a "process." I have already looked at one and they wanted to hire me but they wouldn't be able to begin training me until January 12th! Hence the need to be on the ball and decided immediately whether to "go for it."

What else to report? Thanksgiving was wonderful. It snowed that night while we were celebrating at Mike and Lisa's. I had too much wine but it was just a great time. Before I had too much wine, I was honored to be asked to say a blessing and I made Jim cry. That always feels good, so long as the tears are good ones.

Well, it is time to go. I have to write up some "online interview" answers in my application to some jobs as a teacher in an online college. Wish me luck!
Love,
Amy

found my all time favorite Tom and Jerry!

http://www.google.com/ig/adde?moduleurl=youtube_igoogle/v2/youtube.xml&source=imag

cute little drawstring bag knitting pattern

Drawstring bag pattern

I designed this bag based on several different patterns, so that my boyfriend wouldn’t burn his toes on the hot water bottle in his bed. It measures 3” d x 6” w x 9.5” high. I use a “right twist” from the pattern, “Marsupial Tote” found in Stitch ‘n’ Bitch to mark the corners of it to give this bag its rectangular shape. This is a great way to use up left over yarn. It is knit from the bottom up, starting with a rectangular shape in Brown Sheep Bulky Limeade. The body is in Brown Sheep Bulky Kiwi. The “top” section is in a coordinating scrap yarn that I found which is from either Berrocco or Katia Mexico. You can figure it out from there though.

Used:
Brown Sheep company Bulky weight (85%Wool/15%Mohair) 1 skein (I used parts of two different skeins for contrast because that’s what I had left over, and some scraps for accents at the top)
16 inch circular needles US size 10 (6mm)
Large-eyed tapestry needle
Stitch markers (4, for each corner)

Base of bag
Cast on 11 stitches and K approximately 22 rows of garter stitch, or until flat piece measures 6.5 inches. Place a stitch marker to note the beginning of your round.
PU and K 22 stitches along nearest long edge to next corner. Place a stitch marker.
PU and K 11 stitches along short edge to next corner. Place a stitch marker.
PU and K22 stitches along second long edge. You should be back at the beginning of the round.

Body of Bag
You will begin to knit in the round now, proceeding always by knitting into the left needles. The pouch will grow from the bottom. Make sure if you set it down that you don’t accidentally knit it upside down. It will feel tight for the first few rows, but will loosen up after you knit about 1 inch up from the corners. You will do an RT just after and just before each stitch marker. An RT is:
K second stitch and don’t slip off needle but pull loop through. K first stitch and then slip both off left needle. The stitches will have reversed position. This stitch will occupy the two stitches just before and the two stitches just after every stitch marker.

Round 1: RT stitches 2 and 1, K to 2nd to last stitch at end of section, RT, slip stitch marker to right needle. Repeat 3 more times to end of round.
Repeat all of round 1 until you have a bag that measures about 8 inches high. The corners should be well-defined because of the RT stitches.

Top of Bag
At beginning of round, discontinue the RT stitch.
K 22, slip stitch marker, K11, slip stitch marker, K22, slip stitch marker, K11. Repeat another 10 times, or about 1-1/2 inches.

11th row is the Yarn Over (YO) row for the drawstring. A YO is as follows:

Move the yarn that is hanging down the back, up to the front, in between the needles, like you’re about to purl. Put right needle into stitch on left as if to knit, pull yarn in front up to right and around right needle like a knit stitch. Pull through left stitch as if a regular knit stitch. You will end up with an extra loop on your right needle as you pull your knit stitch through. Knit across it normally at the next round and you will create a small hole in fabric.

K8, K2tog, YO, YO, K2tog, K8 on the long sides
K2, K2tog, YO, YO, K2tog, K3 on the short sides

12th row: K all stitches normally across the YO stitches. They will look like a pair of small holes on each side of the bag. Continue to knit in the round so that you have about 1 inch beyond the holes. Bind off top of bag, removing stitch markers as you go.

Drawstring
Cast on 3 stitches onto same needles. Make I-Cord that is long enough that it can be fed through holes, alternating around bag, and come back out and tied on one side. It should be exactly the right thickness to pull through the holes.
Using tapestry needle, weave the ends into your bag so they are invisible.

Cute and fast! If you try it, let me know how it goes so I can correct it. I'm thinking of teaching it in my December or January classes at the Hobby Lobby.